Chapter Text
18. money machine
“Get a grip, Ron. Here we go.” Tug the sleeves, crack the neck, deep breath in, hold, out… and brace yourself for whatever’s beyond that door. He pulled a cap over his pompadour and wore some plain sweater from the back of his wardrobe. His striped shirts and ruffle of an ascot would ping him instantly for those in the know.
The number of those in the know was growing by the day.
Playfellow had been invited to do a spot on some daytime program after the soaring success of season one. He didn’t have time for television unless he was reviewing footage on a monitor.
Rick charmed the crowd with his warm laugh, and the audience ate it up. “You sound like you have a lot going on in that neighborhood. In that uh-”
“Welcome Home,” Wally said, beaming brighter than the stage lights.
“Yes, yes! That beautiful world of Welcome Home. Since the show’s really taken off, Wally, I’d say you’re quite the popular character now-”
Dorelaine exhaled and chuckled silently at his own worry. Getting Wally here was as easy as reaching out from under the little darling’s armchair and pulling. Not a scuff or stitch out of place, either! Wally knew better than to fight him.
But Barnaby’s puppeteer was going to dazzle the crowd! The real deal had to stay in the neighborhood for all sorts of reasons. The walk-about would do.
Barnaby didn’t have to be as lifelike as sweet little Wally to grab attention. Wally was the star and the face of the program. Barnaby was lots of fun noise.
Kids loved fun and noise.
“-the little charmer too, from what I heard.”
“You’re not so bad yourself!”
Ooh, improv! Well done, Darling!
A man with a clipboard whizzed past Dorelaine and frantically whispered into his headset, “Stall. The dog’s head won’t stay on.”
“Excuse me?” he hissed, but they were already out of earshot.
The audience laughed uproariously.
Rick let them come down after a couple seconds, and said, “Well, thank you- that’s exactly it! Is that why they call you Wally Darling?”
“They call me Wally Darling because that’s my name.”
More laughter.
“That’s true, that’s true! You’re very beloved by a lot of different people now. Do you find yourself in any sort of romances lately, hm?”
Dorelaine was almost completely turned to help with the head when he heard it.
“Romance?”
Eyes wide and cheek twitching, Dorelaine turned back around. sh*t. He’d said before coming on none of those types of questions! Welcome Home was colorful and fun and Wally loved everyone. He loved his friends.
The host grinned, brows lifting. “A love life?- Being so popular and all-”
Despite the lift of Wally’s lids and his stilted response, he held it together perfectly for the cameras. Not like he had a choice in the matter. “Oh no, I don’t know. I love everyone. I love my friends.”
Dorelaine’s breath left in a pained sigh. Thank f*ck for that recovery. It’d been long enough since the removal of a certain little bunny that that question wouldn’t shut Wally down, but good god.
“-ready for your cue. Counting down from ten-”
Dorelaine turned and found Barnaby standing and ready to perform! Those idiots in the back got the head on just in time. Well, almost. He scurried closer and adjusted the tie just a smidgen.
“Thanks, buddy,” the puppeteer within muttered.
“Yes, yes. You’ve got this. Get on the X.” Then he swooped out of sight of the curtain and waited in the dark.
Rick prattled on. “That’s right, you’ve got a lot of friends in that neighborhood-”
The countdown started.
“In fact, I think you said you brought one in for us to meet. Is that right?”
Wally nodded. “Yes, it’s my best friend. He’s my neighbor, too. His name is Barnaby-”
The curtain parted and Barnaby stepped into the light to the left of Rick’s desk. “Barnaby B. Beagle!”
Dorelaine groaned and slumped against the bricks behind him, the cold ridges pressed into his back. Holy sh*t, why was it always the head that caused trouble for the dog?
No time for a breather. He charged back to the crewmen who were in charge of putting Barnaby’s suit onto the puppeteer and started with a sharp, “Who f*cked up the head?”
“Ron, Barnaby’s head always-”
He snapped the fingers of both hands with a hard tutting noise. “I didn’t ask for what I already know. I want to know who f*cked it up.” His glare burned hot in the room. “It’s not difficult to put the head on the neck. It is snaps and velcro, tandem system. I built it myself, I would know!” Snarl lines raked across his nose and brow. “We practiced for a solid week. We do this all the time!” Midnight eyes flicked in glacial flits across the crewmen in charge of Barnaby’s puppet. “Get your sh*t together before we lose our shot at season two!”
If those dumbbells had a word to fit in, he left no room. He had to see the tail end of the interview.
Rick’s smooth voice was already wrapping up to move on. “-ducked a few tomatoes in my own time. Sounds like a handful, Barn. What about you, Wally? What do you think of all this newfound fame?
The puppet said nothing.
Then he beamed brighter than the stage lights above and said, “I think it’s just the most!”
Two crewmen quit that night.
Dorelaine didn’t need weak people in his workshop. Less breath he had to waste on telling them to leave.
